A colourful character

It was easy to forget in the later years how much Frank loved having a lot of people around. He rattled around in that flat in Kirrawee and was too lazy to get out of his own way, complaining that he never saw anybody and nobody ever came to see him. I used to have the same argument with him every time – he used to have a standing invitation to David and Tracey's place every Sunday night for dinner, and his freezer was so full of meat tray wins from the Tradies he could have provided the dinner half the time.

He was also still able to drive and could have got in the car and gone to see whoever he wanted. Like a lot of people when they reach a certain age, he never appreciated how important it was to still have mobility and independence.

But some of my fondest memories of him are when he was surrounded by extended family. One that struck me through the week was a New Year's Eve at Miranda RSL in what must have been about 1994 or 1995. It was a big crowd and I don't remember everyone but Pam, Robin Bob and Bev were there so I assume there were at least a couple of cousins our age around. There was a big banquet, a lot of loud music and a dance floor. Somewhere there's a really nice photo of Joanna and I dancing.

We used to park down behind the place in an outdoor carpark so getting home meant going outside, around the corner and down the hill a bit toward Seymour Shaw and Parkside Mall. Anyway this particular night we all bowled out like a lot of yahoos, probably most of the company six sheets to the wind (and Dad certainly so after a night on Crown Lager, as he was wont to do when it was a special occasion or restaurant dinner).

Amongst all the frivolity inside there were party hats, streamers, balloons, glitter on everything, etc. And over the course of the night Frank adorned himself with all of it. He had a glittery star hat on his head, streamers draped all around his neck and middle, about six balloons tied to the back of his belt on their strings and he was covered with glinting flecks of glitter.

You also have to remember how Dad used to dress back then. When I was a really little kid and we'd go out for dinner he'd have the same stuff he'd been wearing since 1975. If you ask David I bet he remembers Dad's brown body shirt with the orange buttons and stitching as much as I do.

One day I remember Mum getting sick of complaining about it so she went and bought him a handful of new outfits. He got rid of the brown shirt (or she did, or she pretended it got ripped in the wash – a longstanding ruse. She played it on T shirts of David's when they got especially fetid plenty of times). Keep in mind it was the mid 80s, so we're talking about a lot of swooshes of bright colours like they'd been splattered with a paintbrush and bright pastels that might have looked like Miami Vice if he'd looked anything like Don Johnson.

That was all he wore out for the next decade just like the brown body shirt in the decade previous, but that particular night he was in mint-green paints and a white shirt covered in multicoloured paint splotches, covered all over with balloons, streamers, a sparkly hat and with one of those New Year's Even whistle/horn things in his mouth. As we all clumsily and drunkenly whirled around the dance floor he did too, and he left it all on during the walk to the car afterwards. I can't imagine how he got all the balloons in there with him.

I think of that night and the sight of him every now and then and sometimes wish I had a photo – maybe there is one and I just don't remember where it is. But I don't really need one, the memory is so clear. And when I remember it, I remember him with party crap all over him looking like a right dickhead, but every time we laughed at how silly he looked he laughed right along with us, loving every minute of it.

I never knew my father as a man with any vast ambition or unfulfilled dreams, and when I look back I think think as long as there was plenty of beer in the fridge (or restaurant) and everyone was there enjoying being together, he had everything he wanted in life right in front of him.